hey docblack, i cant answer all of your questions because i havent done the rear diff yet, but heres a few regarding the trans:
1. 75w-90 it the right fluid. for the trans/front diff. the front diff and trans share the same oil, so you dont have to do the front diff, its automatically done when you do the trans.
2. i used motul, it was $15(i think) a bottle, and use about 4.5. i think 4.3 or so is what is recomended(so youll need 5 bottle, just like engine oil) but some spills out the hole on the side while filling(if you use that hole). i got em at south coast subaru dealership. all dealers prob dont cary it though, but SCS has a performance parts area in the parts dept. also it works pretty good. i didnt fell a huge inprovement over the stock fluid like some ppl claim, but it was a nice small difference in feel.
3. you need a 10mm allen socket driver, and T-70 torx bit, a ratchet, youll probably need a breaker bar, and a long funnel or funnel with hose or a oil pump. theres 2 drain holes on the bottom(one is the 10mm allen, and the other is the T-70), then 2 fill holes(on passenger side top, under the tmic. and other one is on the driver side, on the side of the trans) both are 10mm allen, and you can use either one to fill it. reuse washers on all plugs/bolts.
also to note- you might be able to oreder the motul from SCS and get it shipped, call and ask for Ferdie if you do. it was pretty easy and straight forward once i was under there doing it, wasnt to messy, just spray some degreaser on the trans where it ran down the side when all done. my magnetic drain plug was pretty clean, not much black gunk or metal on it.